I lost three grandparents within the last year, and none of it really bothered me. I never lost any sleep or even bothered to go to their funerals. They’re old, these things happen. I know I’m supposed to care, and I’m supposed to go and act like their death had an effect on me, but I didn’t really know them at all. If they weren’t blood related, I don’t think I’d even look at them. But… When death gnaws at people I know online, it hurts me a lot.
Two of my online friends that I’ve never seen or spoken to ‘in real life’ passed away, and it hurts me very deeply. I only knew these people through handles or their avatars in-game, but it’s still very real to me.
I don’t know how to explain it too well but I’ll try.
“Xaeon” is someone I’ve met through an MMO called “Phantasy Star Universe“, and I looked up to him. I played a race called a “Newman”, which is frail physically but excels at magic. People basically say “YOU CAN ONLY BE A CASTER” but Xaeon dared to be different. He picked a melee class, and he kicked ass so hard that people forgot about his character’s race altogether. I liked that about him, that he took no shit from the crowd and did his own thing. That attitude and stubbornness was admirable.
We’ve also played Final Fantasy XI briefly, and he would always appear to help me within a minute of so of me asking. I’ve no idea how the hell he traveled so fast- but he was always ready to help, even on what appeared to be a trivial run for someone his level.
I haven’t heard from him in a while, and wondered what happened- and someone mentioned that there was an accident and he wasn’t around anymore. It hurt. I didn’t know him personally, but from the interactions that I’ve had- I felt a strong bond. He was a great friend and I miss him
My pal D.ark from Twitter passed away a few days ago, and I feel bad because I had no idea she was sick! I chatted with her a few times, but again- just like Xaeon, I never knew her personally. I just knew based off of how she interacted with me that she was a very good person and friend to me. When I heard of her passing away, it hurt me deeply. It bothers me so much that I can’t even focus right now, I feel strongly about everyone I’m connected to online- but not as much so to my family. As shitty as it may sound, you can tell me that my dad was ran over by a car, and I wouldn’t give a shit; but if you said an acquaintance from Phantasy Star had a stroke- I’d likely cry over it.
Again, I know it’s wrong- but I’m just wired a little differently.
Have any of you lost an online friend? How did it affect you?